Roaming​-​Sickness Moan

by Dustin Tyler

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1.
04:22
2.
04:15
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6.
02:02
7.
04:34
8.
05:46
9.
04:36

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released August 29, 2015

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Dustin Tyler Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Track Name: Clouds
Once an architect of great respect
All knew my name but forgot my mistakes
Castles straight up to that sweet by and by
I built ghosts of the fallen Babel's pride

I laid brick after endless brick
I stacked pounds of my own calloused skin
I saw the world from atop my Jericho
But I soon heard a wailing trumpet blow
And it said

If you're not floating on clouds
Enjoy your walk on the ground
If you're not trying to stand on nothing but air
Just savor the dirt while you're there

I painted murals of never-ending span
I painted endless scenes for endlessly wealthy men
Renowned for my artistry, known the world over
A selfish conman, I specialized in selfless martyrs

I put my face onto every single king
Preserving my place in the annals of history
Smoothing out my tan, wrinkled skin
I'll be young centuries after my death

If you're not floating on clouds
Enjoy your walk on the ground
If you're not trying to stand on nothing but air
Just savor the dirt while you're there

World's greatest author
Sign-holding pauper
These walls I built
Disappointed like wine to water

Melted to clay
Come first signs of rain
My own private temple
Torn apart again

If you're not floating on clouds
Enjoy your walk on the ground
If you're not trying to stand on nothing but air
Just savor the dirt while you're there
Track Name: Cold
I lay in a bed of snow
I am weak, and sick
Right down to my bones

I have never felt so cold
I can't sleep, but I dream
of seeing you choke

I know these thoughts are wrong
But I just can't keep them from my head
I want you to suffer every night until you're cold
Cold and dead

I've been told I'm a victim too
But that's hard to believe
When memories can make me you

A long, long time ago
You were here, but what you did
Won't leave her alone

If home is where the heart is
I hope my arms she'll never leave
You left in her heart a fear no one who's ever loved her
Love her could teach

When in my dreams we meet
I can't satisfy my wanderings
You're always just out of reach
And violence is the only just reward

My mind is a desert of need
I'm starving
Thirsty for blood
and tired of deceit

I'll cut your tongue out
So you can't be a liar anymore

Carve you heart from your chest
So you can't be a coward

When I leave you here
Your sole companion the wind's cold, damning howl

If an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind
I will live without sight

Before you see
Beauty again
Track Name: Darling, Won't You Hold Me Closer?
I've walked all along this museum's walls
The tops lined with stained-glass window panes
Onto the floors of its trafficked halls
They throw kaleidoscopic shapes

And I've walked up and down this castle's halls
Trying to find a way out of the maze
Examining every crack and fault
But always returning to the same place

Where I was promised all the love I could ever need
If I could only find the strength to believe
Where I was moved to tears by what I couldn't see
Darling, won't you hold me closer?
You mean everything to me

I've knelt in every single one of these pews
Hoping just for a glimpse of god
In spite of my search for the perfect view
His shadow was all that I ever saw

And I've traced the length of every one of these roads
A book of maps my only clue
And though I've never really felt at home
I always felt least alone with you

Where I was promised all the love I could ever need
If I could only find the strength to believe
Where I was moved to tears by what I couldn't see
Darling, won't you hold me closer?
You mean everything to me
Track Name: Sistine Chapel
The floorboards creak in this old room
The bed we used to lie in is empty without you
The pipes they freeze in winter, they leak in summertime
The windows are etched with cracks I didn't see when you were mine

Carry me West across Minnesota
Through the open countryside the Dakota sun sets o'er
I've walked mile after mile
But never left my front door

The lights have all burnt out, I still see your shape in the dark
The porch has caved in, though we never walked that part of the house
The foundation is crumbling, but the door is still in its frame
I'm lacing up my boots, golden string to lead me away

Carry me past the hills of Montana
That Sistine Chapel of my heart's hosanna
I've spent all of my life
Staring out windows

Carry me through mountains, monuments to the clouds
Past rushing waters more blue than I knew could be found
Let me hear the constellations' call
More voices than exist on earth, lonely concert hall
Surrounded by my thoughts, deafeningly loud
Never before have I felt such awe
Never before have I felt so alive
Never before have I felt so small
Track Name: Mercy Me, Mercy You
The moon shines down with silver
And the sun from its pockets spills gold
All the riches I need as long as I live
But I'm still afraid to grow old

Oh, mercy me
Oh, mercy you
Oh, mercy me, love
What can I do?

Blooms more vibrant than cut diamonds
Dot the fields, bright like wedding bands
Witness to love spoken only in silence
The roots and the dirt intertwined hands

Oh, mercy me
Oh, mercy you
Oh, mercy me, love
What can I do?

In every town, church steeple mountains
Their bells ringing out the birds that sing
But how many pretty words can one take from the pulpit
After hearing the prose of the trees?

Oh, mercy me
Oh, mercy you
Oh, mercy me, love
What can I do?
Track Name: Nicotine
I want to go to church in the pines
Take communion down by the tracks
Bound for glory and I'm going for a ride
Taking only what I got on my back

My bones shake as the cars rattle by
I swear the wind's got me speaking in tongues
You'll find me kneeling on the ballast rock
Bleeding out for the sins I have done

Devil's smoking me like a cigarette
Oh, the devil's got a hold on me
Devil's smoking me like a cigarette
Took the filter out for more nicotine

Baptism in a muddy creek
While nature's singing all around
The only hymns that speak to me
In no book could they be written down

If ever I take that bag of silver
By the time that rooster sounds
I'll be chained like a beaten dog
Choking myself for more ground

Devil's smoking me like a cigarette
Oh, the devil's got a hold on me
Devil's smoking me like a cigarette
Took the filter out for more nicotine

Devil's smoking me like a cigarette
Oh, he's got me between his teeth
Devil's smoking me like a cigarette
Took the filter out for more nicotine

I want to go to church in the pines
Take communion down by the tracks
Bound for glory and I'm going for a ride
Taking only what I got on my back
Track Name: Circus Music
Only Dali's clock can count out the sleep I've lost
Watching nights turn to ink blots
Talking like I'm high to my old friend Rorschach
But I can't outrun my thoughts

Anxiety's got a hold on me
Keeping my ego from rest
Even the question seems surreal:
Am I wrong to love myself?

Only one thing can check me from this hospital
So I'm choking back cheap alcohol
Cleans the plaque from my thoughts and the ugly from my teeth
I'm making love to Listerine

Libido's wrest control from me
Keeping my heart from any home
Even the walls seem surreal
All I know to be true is the door

Isolation take my hand
I don't want the world, I am only a man
Maybe I'm not real
Tell me I'm not here

Only my cough knows the stagger of my breast
Crawling over guilt stuck in my chest
Choking on my lines, stumbling each sentence
I'm gagging on the thickness of my breath

Fear's greedy eyes are still fixed on me
Laughing from the wings of my mind
Every moment seems surreal
I'm caught in near-constant stage fright

Isolation take my hand
I don't want the world, I am only a man
Maybe I'm not real
Tell me I'm not here

I can't help but wish my mind would go blank
My body hit the floor and I drink in the pain
Oh, I wish and I wish and I wish and I wish
I were more an animal
Track Name: Growing Up
I've been running through this field in my mind
Idealized memories
Full of flowers, dandelions
White, about to lose their seeds

I've got not a care in the world
Or a dollar to my name
Surrounded by my friends
I want to go back to those days

Sometimes I miss those days

I've been walking down this road most of my life
Idealized reality
Full of trash, but it's not my responsibility
And I'm pretending not to see

I've got my pockets full
Maybe I should just leave
I don't care much for the world
And I don't care much for me

No, I don't care much for me

When chain
Becomes rope
Becomes string
Did we ever really believe?
And when that string breaks
Will it all come back to me?

But through all of this
How did we never see this coming?
Maybe it's just our disease
But through all of this
How did we never see this coming?
Maybe it's just the nature of things

I've been thinking a lot lately
About the way things used to be
Questions I've never had to ask myself before
Are becoming the norm for me
Questions I've never had to ask myself before
Are the ones that will set me free
Track Name: Open Door
In my dreams there's no difference
Between Heaven and Hell
You can shout to the Lord
But love won't ever pay the bill

But I will give you all my trust
Everything that's mine is yours
My heart, my hands, and my trouble
Every one an open door

I can't keep going on like this
I feel the sadness in your kiss
I'm leaving home, my knees caught the roaming-sickness moan
My bones are dreaming for the road

In my dreams there's no difference
Between Heaven and Hell
You can shout to the Lord
But love won't ever pay the bill

But I will give you all my trust
Everything that's mine is yours
My heart, my hands, and my trouble
Every one an open door

I can't keep running in this race
My heart as full as your embrace
My lungs are breathing heavy, my tongue is speaking steady
I have no needs, you are my wealth

In my dreams there's no difference
Between Heaven and Hell
You can shout to the Lord
But love won't ever pay the bill

But I will give you all my trust
Everything that's mine is yours
My heart, my hands, and my trouble
Every one an open door